Vegan Mofo Day 1: Of Stress, Food, and Blogging

(broth, dry toast, green tea, consumed in front of an open laptop)

 This photograph serves for me as a perfect visual icon of the month of September. I spent this month in a state of school-induced panic the likes of which I may have never experienced before. For those of you who are in or have completed grad school, the single word will be capable of striking fear into your hearts: comps. 

Or, at my university, Primary Area Qualification exams. But the jist is the same. You spend a year of your life reading an enormous list of books, and at the end of that year you complete a set of exams meant to indicate whether you are prepared to become a PhD Candidate, or ABD (all but dissertation). 

Now, I am not unaccustomed to stress. I have, after all, been a student for over seven years IN A ROW now. But I have never felt so totally overwhelmed and completely consumed by a task as I was by this one. I stopped sleeping. I stopped seeing my friends. I did very little besides sit at my desk for up to 14 hours a day studying. And worst of all: I stopped eating. 

To be honest, I still cannot say with total certainty that exam-induced stress was the primary cause of my ongoing stomach ailments. But I'm sure it didn't help. The point is that what started at the beginning of September as a little stomach discomfort soon evolved into a full-out loss of appetite, inability to eat most solid foods, and corresponding physical weakness and diminished energy (though the mid-month discovery that I could still stomach Vega Whole Food Health Optimizer was a saving grace). With the ability to eat went the ability to go for stress-relieving runs. Also went my main source of stress relief: cooking and baking. 

I am a stress eater. This is not, obviously, the healthiest relation to food, but there it is. When I am under a great deal of stress I bake myself delicious vegan cookies. And then I eat. Them. All. Without vigorous exercise and/or eating, I found myself totally ill-equipped to handle the stress of these exams. Hence my retreat into my office, my failure to establish even a semblance of work-life balance, and my current resolution.

I am taking advantage of Vegan MoFo to do two things. First: I am reclaiming the pleasure of food via this (previously grossly neglected) blog. Because I recognize increasingly that, without a non-school-related outlet I am too prone to devolve into an anaemic recluse, I am striving to make blogging a conscious form of self-care outside (though never fully divorced from) my academic pursuits. 

Second: With the exams now passed (YAY!) and over, I expected my health to miraculously return, but it has not. During the month, in an attempt to give my digestion a break, I cut out soy, gluten, corn, refined sugar, coffee/black tea, and originally legumes (I am starting to reintroduce them, with only minimal success), as well as most fats. Interestingly enough, I am starting to regain my physical energy, and am enjoying tremendous mental energy and clarity. Now working with a naturopath (who has me on a strict regime of probiotics, digestive enzymes, and congee), I am striving to recover. I am also interested in using this month, however, to explore the realm of vegan cooking beyond soy, gluten, and other common allergens. 

First up: a weekend in Toronto, and eating out with A LOT of dietary restrictions...